No one actually lives this way
Once upon a time we’d never heard of the novel coronavirus and went out into the world without thinking twice about the germs churning through the air.
In those halcyon days, I frequented a gym. It’s a women-only establishment, which takes the pressure down a few notches. It’s one of those things that’s hard to explain but easy to sense.
Another nice thing about that gym is that it was very egalitarian. You could join any class and just do as well as you could. There were no hard-bodied goddesses exhorting you to go faster! Do more! Sweat it out!
Don’t get me wrong, there was a terrific level of enthusiasm and encouragement. But you never felt like you’d failed if you couldn’t keep up with one of those tiny women who didn’t look much older than your youngest daughter.
Avoiding comparing yourself to the other denizens of the gym is tough, but in this one it was almost possible.
"Comparison is the thief of joy," said… someone. (Don’t believe the internet when it tells you it was Theodore Roosevelt. Not that it matters. It’s a terrific statement.)
This goes for your ability to keep your house tidy and clutter free just as much as it does your capacity to handle kettlebells.
So I’m hereby ordering you to stop comparing your householding habits to those of others! By which I mean, of course, that I wish you wouldn’t, because there is no joy to be found in that exercise.
There are some among us who excel at making things just so and then keeping them that way for decades - the Martha Stewarts of the world. And then there are a lot of people who make it LOOK as though everything is just so but who are lying to us. The Rachel Hollises of the world.
You are not them, and frankly I like you better because of it. Even though Martha gets to pal around with Snoop Dogg, which is pretty cool. I'd still rather spend time at your house, dog hair and all.
Wouldn’t it be marvelous if we could all remember that we are who we are – masterful at some things and unskilled at others – and that our self-worth is untarnished in spite of it all?
This is one of the things I’m addressing in the Your Unburdened Life membership.
You are where you are, and that’s a great place to be.
If you’d like to own fewer things, or stay on top of your regular tasks, or otherwise make your life simpler and easier it’s totally possible! You are capable and smart, and this is not rocket science.
But you might need a little help.
I love the idea of doing this work in community with other humans with the same issues and goals. Because I can’t tell you how many people cringe when I enter their houses, apologizing for the mess and clearly hoping I’m not going to scold them.
We’d all like to throw our doors open, safe in the knowledge that our homes are palaces. Or Dwell magazine show homes. But in fact, most of the people I know do not have photo-shoot-ready rooms.
We’re doing our best! And it’s easier and more fun to do it with other people! And a membership is a darned inexpensive way to get guidance and advice and coaching.
So you should definitely consider joining. It's so nice in there! The people are friendly, the water is warm, the sun is always shining. We'd love to see you there!