silhouette of a woman with s sunset over the ocean inside

Be here now

My 2021 started as an exercise in acceptance.
 
I got a brand new hip in February. Which I thought was reserved for old people? Nope. Turns out you can wreck a hip way sooner than you can retire.

It's clear that I’ll never run that marathon, but I guess I’m okay with that. No rigorous training for months on end, no stress fractures or aching knees? Maybe it's a good thing.

 
My nest was empty for a minute and a half, and then everyone came home and set up their electronics. My electricity bill tripled.

I had to go back to mediating the kind of arguments that were wildly embarrassing when my children were in elementary school. Some of which involved actual hitting.

On the other hand, now that the kids are kinda sorta adults, I can stop worrying about being that perfect mom I was clearly never going to be.

I never knew when the spelling test was. Or the last time anyone had a bath. I never joined the PTA. My children are usually nice and mostly happy, so I guess it didn’t matter?

 
I’m accepting other things, too; stuff I’ve tried to believe about myself, but which just isn’t true.
 
I’m not a dog person.

The front yard might look great, or the back yard might look great, but those two things will never happen simultaneously.

I’ll never tackle a plumbing problem that takes more than 10 minutes to fix.

Consistency is not my strong suit.

Camping? No.

 
There’s a lot of freedom in letting go of the expectations you’ve held for yourself. It’s a huge relief to admit that I don’t ever want to meditate, join a book club, or bake anything.
 
I’m tired of fighting invisible demons, by which I mean I’m sick of trying to do things the way I’m supposed to. It's time to let go of expectations and just get on with it.
 
We're okay. Just the way we are. Chronically late or anxious or disorganized or laughing so loudly the whole restaurant stops talking. We're just fine. But if there are things we'd like to change, we can.
 
You might not be able to tame that laughter, but you can change the way you feel about it. Maybe you can learn to get to things on time. You can practice a LOT of deep breathing.

You can change troublesome behavior, but you are who you are, and that's okay. That's at the heart of the work I do - I don't want you to stress about having some HGTV showplace;  I want you to have a home that feels good t the end of a long stressful day.

If you want to manage your clutter and feel better at home, I can help. Book some time with me and let's talk about it!